Guilt, Guilt with a side of Guilt

Your child has been sick for 2 straight weeks, you haven't slept a 4 solid hours since she has been sick and you have to leave for your first business trip- what do you do? Besides feeling like a horrible mother and second guessing everything you are doing, you go and try to remember why you are doing it in the first place.

Blake has been sick these last couple of weeks- started with croup, then went into double ear infections and then some crazy virus that took us to the ER one night because of a 105 temp and vomiting. Eric and I have have seriously not slept a whole night in 2 weeks...I feel like we have a newborn again but it is much worse cause she wakes up crying in pain and you can't make it better. To make a long story short, it has been absolutely miserable. And I leave tonight for Dallas for my first buying trip.

On one hand, I am really excited to see the market and I haven't been away from a sick child for more than a couple hours here and there so the time away will be nice. But there is also that horrible feeling of guilt that I have such a hard time with. Not only leaving Blake while she is still sick but leaving my poor husband all weekend to deal with her by himself. But he handles these situations way better than me- he can go on no sleep, work all day and then do it all over again with a smile on his face.

And here is a good time to talk about how wonderful my husband is. He gets up with Blake at night just as much as I do, stays calm through it all and even sleeps with her on the couch all night when she will not go in her crib cause it hurts her ears to lay down. And then tells me how excited he is for me to go to Dallas this weekend and can't wait to start getting everything ready to open. And he is looking forward to having Blake all to himself. He definitely wins the best father award and the best husband award of the year.

So I'm off to Dallas tonight with my Mom and my two sisters. My youngest sister is 19 and my Mom is in her fifties (I'll leave her exact age out for her sake :) ). We were thinking that this would be a good age span to get good imput on what to buy. The guilt will go away (at some point I would think- maybe when they have their own children) and it is alright to do something for yourself. Can't wait to show you what I find!!

Chocolate Peacock- WHAT??

What is a chocolate peacock? Do you like peacocks that much? What are you thinking? These are some of the questions that people have either asked me or I just know they are thinking it when I tell them what the name is. Either way, it gets you thinking and makes you curious...or at least that is what I am hoping.

I was going to name it after my daughter and call it Blake Patrice. And I still really love this (of course I do, I did name my daughter this). But, what if she hates me for it in 10 years or what if her younger sister or brother wants to know why I didn't name my business after them. And no, there is no younger brother or sister in the womb or anything right now and not even on the horizon for another year or two- just fyi.

So then I played with my name forever. I do have a unique name and I have grown to really love it (I HATED it growing up and then I did the same thing to my own child), however, I do not like attention brought on myself. I don't think there is anything wrong with liking attention, I just don't. It makes me uncomfortable and extremely anxious. I would like to bring attention to the shop itself but not myself.

It is a Thursday night and I need a name. I do love the peacock feather- I love the colors, the look and I just think its cool. Most of the interior colors were going to be based on these colors so we were playing with the word peacock. Putting different words with other words and I think I said (it may have been my husband who said it - we are still arguing about who actually came up with it) chocolate peacock. Who doesn't like chocolate? It's different, fun and cool. I like it. And either way, if you like it or not, it makes you think and hopefully makes you want to check it out!

Location, Location, Location

I decided that the first thing I needed to do was find a location. I was looking for roughly 1000 square feet. What I didn't know, was how much retail space costs- yowza. It is EXPENSIVE. And everyone said that now is the time to do it because of the market...and it is still ridiculously expensive. I looked everywhere- Village Pointe, Downtown, Midtown Crossing, Midtown. These were all going to put me in the hole so far that I just didn't think it would be a good idea. Then one night I am talking with my parents and my Mom says, "why don't you look at space in our plaza?" My parents own Enchanted Honeymoons travel agency- an extremely successful travel agency here in Omaha. Which let me just point out here, I could never dream of doing something like this without the support from my husband first and foremost but also from my parents. My parents have always been big believers in working for yourself and obviously it rubbed off. And my husband is just a risk taker who believes in me more than I believe in myself- which I need time and again and always reminds me why I married him.

Anyways, back to what my Mom said about looking at space in their plaza. They are located in Hilltop Plaza just South of 108th and Center right across the street to the east from RockBrook. Great location just not the greatest looking plaza you have ever seen. But after a little thought, my Mom was right. Their travel agency plus the bridal shop and the spa that is already there, how many more brides could you get in one place. There are 100s of women walking in and out of here on a daily basis. Here is the best part- the rent is also a third the cost of all the others I looked at and a fourth the cost of some of them. Plus, a contracting company owns the plaza and they were willing to do the build out for free. This was looking better and better.

The space itself is not the most ideal. Barely any store front, long and narrow and it was only about 900 square feet (this included the bathroom and storage area) so my space for inventory was only going to be about 700 square feet. But the cost and location was just too good to pass up. And maybe starting real small is not such a bad idea.

After negotiating a few more benefits, it was looking like there was no way I could back out now. I'm going to have to be open for at least 3 years :)

Where did this come from?!?!

The first thing that most people will say when I tell them I am opening a women's clothing boutique is, "where did this come from?" And I promise, it did not just come to me a few weeks ago...I have been thinking about this and researching it for over a year now...maybe longer. Anyone that knows me well would tell you that opening my own business has always been my overall career goal. I can't imagine going through life without at least having one business (or trying one business that is).

The boutique is a bit random, I know. I'm not some fashionista and I would rather be in sweatpants and a T-shirt most days. However, I do love clothes, accessories, shoes and purses. I like putting things together and love trying the trends. My background is in sales and customer service. And one thing that I know for sure is that Omaha definitely needs more clothing shops and more customer service! Besides your usual Gap, Banana Republic, J Crew, we do have a Von Maur, Anthropologie and a few boutiques that are good but other than that, nothing. We need MORE!! We have the people (and its growing so fast) and the right economy.

I am also a Mom to a beautiful 1 yr old. She is just the most amazing little person and I can't believe she is my daughter. She is pictured at the top right corner with me. I decided when I first got pregnant that I would stay home with her, at least for a while. I was at a good place to be done with my current job and my husband was at a good place with his law practice. I was hoping that I would absolutely love being at home- it does make life easier if you are able to for both you and your husband- there is no doubt about that. And I am not saying that it is easy to be at home with your kids, it is the hardest job in the world!! I'm just saying that it does make life a bit less hectic- no one has to get the kids to daycare and there is someone running the house full time. But I quickly knew something was missing for me. I waited and waited thinking that it would get better but I just really felt like I was missing a big part of myself. So the job search started, I knew that I would want something not full-full time and something that I could actually put my business degree to work again. Well, that is pretty much impossible to find. So the whole business thing came up again...we have so many ideas. Seriously, this is what my husband and I do for fun, we think of business ideas, I know- total losers. But finding one that would actually have the possibility of working, one where I would not have to be there 60 hours a week (I may be working 60 hours a week but I do actually close at the end of the day) and one that I would really be excited to go to everyday (especially if I was going to leave my daughter for it) ruled out almost every single one of them except for the boutique. So I started reading and talking to everyone I knew that had retail, boutique ownership and fashion buying experience and found out that it would be possible and was actually a really good idea.

This is a blog to document my experience from start to finish, keep people in the loop and hopefully get you excited to see the shop!