Guilt, Guilt with a side of Guilt

Your child has been sick for 2 straight weeks, you haven't slept a 4 solid hours since she has been sick and you have to leave for your first business trip- what do you do? Besides feeling like a horrible mother and second guessing everything you are doing, you go and try to remember why you are doing it in the first place.

Blake has been sick these last couple of weeks- started with croup, then went into double ear infections and then some crazy virus that took us to the ER one night because of a 105 temp and vomiting. Eric and I have have seriously not slept a whole night in 2 weeks...I feel like we have a newborn again but it is much worse cause she wakes up crying in pain and you can't make it better. To make a long story short, it has been absolutely miserable. And I leave tonight for Dallas for my first buying trip.

On one hand, I am really excited to see the market and I haven't been away from a sick child for more than a couple hours here and there so the time away will be nice. But there is also that horrible feeling of guilt that I have such a hard time with. Not only leaving Blake while she is still sick but leaving my poor husband all weekend to deal with her by himself. But he handles these situations way better than me- he can go on no sleep, work all day and then do it all over again with a smile on his face.

And here is a good time to talk about how wonderful my husband is. He gets up with Blake at night just as much as I do, stays calm through it all and even sleeps with her on the couch all night when she will not go in her crib cause it hurts her ears to lay down. And then tells me how excited he is for me to go to Dallas this weekend and can't wait to start getting everything ready to open. And he is looking forward to having Blake all to himself. He definitely wins the best father award and the best husband award of the year.

So I'm off to Dallas tonight with my Mom and my two sisters. My youngest sister is 19 and my Mom is in her fifties (I'll leave her exact age out for her sake :) ). We were thinking that this would be a good age span to get good imput on what to buy. The guilt will go away (at some point I would think- maybe when they have their own children) and it is alright to do something for yourself. Can't wait to show you what I find!!